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[putyoudown]

"Givens. Leave a message."

Comments

[trouvaille]

No, it was gas.

[putyoudown]

How on Earth are you single? They must be hammering down your door.

[trouvaille]

Then they hear me talk and it all goes to hell. :(!!!

Actually I completely panicked when Tink said it was coming up, I wasn't awake yet and I thought I was still in London and was going to have to get off my arse and find a date or something. You can't not have a date when all of your exes are going to be glossily photographed with their new piece.

[putyoudown]

[He briefly pictures being Ilde's arm candy. It's terrifying.]

Then I'll consider myself fortunate not to be burdened with such enormities.

[trouvaille]

( she's terrifying. it's this whole thing. cute, though. )

Jasper needs to be shown up by someone with a double-barreled surname and a seat in the House of Lords if I really want him to chew his own liver until he dies thinking only about me.

Are you doing anything for Valentine's? This isn't a set up, I'm just nosy.

[putyoudown]

What's the whole thing with double surnames, anyhow? I get the sense it's some kind of status thing in England.

Probably not. [Yes definitely.] We'll see. [He's going to the orgy, Ilde.]

[trouvaille]

It's not how many surnames you have, it's what the surname is. Surnames are. Etcetera. I could be Marquering-Featherstonehaugh if I wanted, actually. Imagine trying to fit that mess on absolutely any form.

I'm thinking of taking my best friend's girlfriend out. He isn't a Valentine's guy and I think it'd be fun.

[putyoudown]

Then how come double-barrel surname is an actual term you have that's significant?

That does sound like fun.

[trouvaille]

It's like, verbal shorthand. I say 'double barreled surname and a seat in the House of Lords' and you're picturing the kind of prick I mean. I don't really mean he has to have those things, they're just convenient signifiers so you fill in what I actually mean on your own. Jasper's that kind of prick and he doesn't have either of those things.

Maybe not as much fun as an orgy. But I'm too picky for that nonsense.

[putyoudown]

[This is still not explaining it to him sufficiently and he's pretty sure there's more, but he doesn't care about it enough to keep chasing it down.] All right then.

And you'd get offended at the mess.

[trouvaille]

It'd be so sticky.

[putyoudown]

See, I don't mind getting as filthy as I need to, long as there's a hot shower at the end. Coal mine will do that for you.

[trouvaille]

You got jizzed on a lot in the coal mine???? I'm so shocked at you.

No are you going though? Because you have to tell me what it was like if you go.

[putyoudown]

Coal dust gets into places you didn't know you had.

I promise to tell you if I go. [He's definitely going.]

[trouvaille]

I know about all of my places. I have multiple gynecologists.

Excellent. In detail. Will make special occasion exception for nudes.

[putyoudown]

Yeah, but you probably ain't coughed up or blown your nose jet black.

Maybe I'll just fill out a full report.

[trouvaille]

That I have not done. I'm sure you're very surprised to hear my coal mine experience is quite limited.

I would like all sexual partners graded out of 10.

[putyoudown]

Extra points will be given for complimenting my performance.